1. Push random numbers (if you're on a touch-tone phone). Tell the MCI
stooge to cut it out.
2. Use CB lingo.
3. Ask the MCI stooge if he/she knows the Lord.
4. Tell 'em you've got Sprint on the other line, and you're going with the
lowest bidder.
5. Ask the MCI stooge what he/she is wearing.
6. Tell 'em you're depressed; ask 'em to cheer you up.
7. If he/she suggests anything, adamantly declare, "I shall not be swayed by
your sweet words."
8. Put them on hold. For an hour.
9. Ask if MCI supports deforestation efforts in Brazil/ethnic
cleansing in Bosnia/some other really repulsive cause. When he/she says no,
say, "Well, I'm afraid I can't use MCI then."
10. Ask them what preparations they've made for the coming war with the
lizardmen from the planet Zarkon.
11. Tell 'em you don't have a phone.
12. Ask if they like turnip greens.