Note: Apparently written by Christina A Melnyk (cm42@evansville.edu). this is unconfirmed
1. Thou shalt smoke no other Gods before me
2. Honor thy brand, as loyalty is looked upon with favor (and also by thy tastebuds)
3. Thou shalt not squander thy cigarettes, as overindulgence leads to Nicotine Hangovers
4. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors cigarettes except in times of dire need
5. Thou shalt give freely of thy cigarettes to others in dire need, as the favor may be returned someday
6. Thou shalt respect the rights of nonsmokers, as smoke hath a natural tendency to blow in their faces.
7. Thou shalt not exhale in the face of another (unless thou art in France and really want to meet them in bed in five minutes)
8. Thou shalt not smoke in buildings, bathrooms, or other nonsmoking facilities without thy host's permission
9. Thou shalt dispose carefully of thy cigarette butts, as forest fires are an abomination unto me
10. Thou shalt not allow thy cigarettes to become stale, as stale cigarettes are an unacceptable sacrifice unto me
11. Thou shalt not chew tobacco, for chewed tobacco renders no sacrificial smoke unto the great god Nicotine, but rather just vile, corrupted saliva
12. Thou shalt cut thy joints with tobacco, as is the European practice, for this increases their potency and offers further sacrifice to the great god Nicotine