Note: Apparently written by dmin@ebicom.net (dMin). This is unconfirmed.

There's been a lot of talk about how terrible the horror film industry is 
today.  Well, I've hit on something that could revolutionize the field, 
and the best part is, YOU can become involved!

Remember in the old days, people used to donate their bodies to science 
after their death?  So why can't we donate our bodies to HORROR?  Can you 
imagine the thrill of watching a horror film in which REAL DEAD PEOPLE 
stand in for the special fx scenes?  No more costly special fx crews, no 
more debate over a film's realism.  Of course, being on the clean-up crew 
might be a drag, but I feel the pros outweigh the cons.

For example, everyone remembers that stomach-churning scene in DAWN OF 
THE DEAD when the swat guy goes bonkers and starts capping everyone in 
sight.  He kicks open a door and blows some poor SOB'S head clean off his 
shoulders.  Well, any savvy horror film addict saw immediately how fake 
that was.  Imagine a REAL CADAVER in place of the latex head, and you can 
immediately see how that scene could have had some real impact!  The kind 
of impact that only comes out using TIDE WITH BLEACH.

Best of all, it would add some FUN back into horror.  Picture this:  
you're watching the latest, greatest sicko slasher flic, and you're 
really digging it!  The killer has been on a rampage, and the body count 
is really starting to pile up.  The killer throws open a door, 
sledgehammer ready, and....WHOA!  Wait a cottonpickin' minute!  That's 
your DEAR DEPARTED AUNT MARY propped up against that wall isn't it?  The 
killer STRIKES and Aunt Mary's head turns to paste right before your 
eyes!  But you're sure it was her!  What a rush, eh?  

And wouldn't it be great to see the ACTUAL REMAINS of that sumbitch who 
thumped you on the back of head all through high school get splattered 
all to hell by a chainsaw?  Don't lie now!  You know you'd just eat that 
up with a spoon!

Another plus, each cadaver is just filled with useable parts.  Heads for 
blowing off, eyes for gouging out, hands for chopping off, legs for 
sawing off, feet for smashing...the list just goes on and on.  One good 
cadaver could last you for 5 or 6 films if stored properly (unless of 
course the cadaver has been blown to chunky bits or thrown from a great 
height).

So if we really want to save the industry we love so well, I say we 
should give our all!  Look on the back of your driver's license and make 
sure you put a big fat check beside the DONATE BODY TO HORROR UPON DEATH.
If your license doesn't offer it, WRITE IT IN!