1. If you introduce your wife as "mylady@home.wife"
2. If your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling
3. If you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie
4. If you want an 8X CDROM for Christmas
5. If Dilbert is your hero
6. If you stare at an orange juice container because it
says CONCENTRATE
7. If you can name 6 Star Trek episodes
8. If the only jokes you receive are through e-mail
9. If your wrist watch has more computing power than a
486DX-50
10. If your idea of good interpersonal communication
means getting the decimal point in the right place
11. If you look forward to Christmas only to put together
the kids' toys
12. If you use a CAD package to design your son's Pine
Wood Derby car
13. If you have used coat hangers and duct tape for
something other than hanging coats and taping ducts
14. If, at Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be
the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string
15. If you window shop at Radio Shack
16. If your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding
through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical
inaccuracies
17. If you have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area
18. If you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected
results of a test that actually takes five minutes to run
19. If you are convinced you can build a phazer out of your garage
door opener and your camera's flash attachment
20. If you don't even know where the cover to your personal computer
is
21. If you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven
22. If you know the direction the water swirls when you flush
23. If you own "Official Star Trek" anything
24. If you have ever taken the back off your TV just to see
what's inside
25. If a team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the
antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception
26. If you thought the concoction ET used to phone home was stupid
27. If you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair
project
28. If you are currently gathering the components to build your own
nuclear reactor
29. If you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts
30. If you have never backed-up your hard drive
31. If you are aware that computers are actually only good for
playing games, but are afraid to say it out loud
32. If you truly believe aliens are living among us
33. If you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance
34. If you have ever purchased an electronic appliance "as-is"
35. If you see a good design and still have to change it
36. If the salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of
your questions
37. If you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it
38. If the thought that a CD could refer to finance or
music never enters your mind
39. If you own a set of itty-bitty screw drivers, but you
don't remember where they are
40. If you rotate your screen savers more frequently than
your automobile tires
41. If you have a functioning home copier machine, but
every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal
42. If you have more toys than your kids
43. If you need a checklist to turn on the TV
44. If you have introduced your kids by the wrong name
45. If your wife thinks your taste in ties is bizarre
46. If you have a habit of destroying things in order to see
how they work
47. If your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight
48. If the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't
work and you rush up to the front to fix it
49. If you can remember 7 computer passwords but not
your anniversary
50. If you have memorized the program schedule for the
Discovery channel and have seen most of the shows already
51. If you have ever owned a calculator with no equal key
and know what RPN stands for
52. If your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first
color TV with a magnifying lens to see how they made
the colors, and you grew up thinking that was normal
53. If you know how to take the cover off of your computer, and what
size screw driver to use
54. If you can type 70 words a minute but can't read your
own handwriting
55. If people groan at the party when you pick out the music
56. If you can't remember where you parked your car for
the 3rd time this week
57. If people hound you for pocket protectors at Halloween time
58. If you did the sound system for your senior prom
59. If your checkbook always balances
60. If your girlfriend says the way you dress is no reflection
on her
61. If your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone
62. If you have more friends on the Internet than in real life
63. If you thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the
mission controllers
64. If you think your computer looks better without the cover
65. If you think that when people around you yawn, its because they
didn't get enough sleep
66. If your wife hasn't the foggiest idea what you do at work
67. If you spend more on your home computer than your car
68. If you know what http:/ stands for
69. If you've ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio
70. If you have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and
nuts in your garage
71. If your favorite part of the 6 o clock news is comparing
their latest satellite weather picture with yours
72. If your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and
you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory
73. If your lap-top computer costs more than your car
74. If your 4 basic food groups are: 1.Caffeine 2.Fat
3.Sugar 4.Chocolate