Note: Apparently written by flargh@tikkabik.com (Peter Cohen), but that is not confirmed.

[Submitter's note: Media One is the new name for Continental Cablevision which is currently advertising "broadband" internet connections via their cable system.]

Yeah, I keep hearing these irritating radio spots for Media One where the target audience is made to feel completely socially inadequate because they don't already have broadband installed at their house. I keep waiting for Media One to go after the _real_ market for this product:

"You and your buddies are on IRC and talking about the latest naked JPGs of Teri Hatcher on the #nudecelebs channel when they start talking about MPG movies of a porno video supposedly starring Marina Sirtis of Star Trek fame. That's when you realize that while you've been masturbating to still pictures from alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.startrek, your friends have been whacking to full color, full screen digitized smut.

"'What an imagination you must have,' they tell you. 'Beating your meat to still photos? How '80's!" they remark. That's when you realize that you've missed the latest in the socially-retarded geek trend of the '90's.

"This is Broadband. This is the way."